Bettering Myself For ME

I know that I don't speak with the Lord each and every day, but I try my best to do right by him. With so many temptations and negative exposure it's so easy to stray on the wrong path. I'm trying to make peace with things that have gone wrong in my past because I can't deal with a heavy soul, it's way too much to carry. But it's hard to make peace when the other party won't accept your offering! Then I have to remember who I'm being the bigger person for. My God. He is the most forgiving one out of every human being that I know. Without His hand on my shoulder whether things are running smooth or going downhill, I don't know where I would be. 

I love my God.

♥

Naturally Fierce Journey!

Although I am a bit late, I thought I should still document my "Naturally Fierce" hair journey. Here's a look at the first cut:

Month 1

It's pretty crazy, I know!!! Let me explain. My mother is full blood Filipino and my dad is obviously black. My mother had NO IDEA what to do with my hair as a child so my dad's mother suggested to have it permed. So I got perms for most of my childhood. Which of course is absolutely damaging to my what used to be BEAUTIFUL natural curls. When I was about 14 I decided no more perms. I'm old enough to do my own hair, blah blah. No perms, but then high school comes around and the trend was apparently dying your hair every color of the rainbow and any colors you could make up. So of course, I followed. Not to mention all the heat damage it's been through from flat ironing it like CRAZY. Needless to say, my hair has been tore up from the floor up. Yes, it had some serious length to it, but it meant nothing to me if my natural curls weren't how they should be. I mean, after washing my hair i looked like I had dread locks. when my hair would dry, it dried straight. So after seeing a few, like literally 2 or 3 YouTube videos of women going through a Natural Hair Growth journey, I decided that this is what I needed to do. I washed and dried my hair, sat in a chair at home, grabbed a pair of scissors and chopped off my first lock. I ALMOST DIED. My boyfriend couldn't believe it. I sat there looking at it yelling "what have I done, what am I doing ?!?!!!" Alex shaped it up a bit and I went to a barber to get a clean cut. After staring at myself for an hour at a time everyday I'm starting to realize what this has done for me. I didn't tell everyone what I decided to do because I didn't want anyone's opinions to alter my decision. Knowing that alone makes me love my decision so much more. Although I do miss my locks like CRAAZZYYY, I know the end results to this is going to be amazing. I can't wait to see what's in store. I also can't wait to see what other shenanigans this "new found freedom" can get me into. ;) 

Starting Over.

Love your life. Love those who are present in your life. Love those who were once present in your life, and those who soon will be. Realize that everyone has a past and with that, everyone is entitled to a future. Everyone doesn't see what seems to be right or wrong the same way you do. And admit, most times you don't see what seems to be right or wrong the way others do. In other words, NO ONE IS PERFECT. It is important that we use the mistakes we've made to reflect on how we bring about our future. Holding on to grudges only weighs YOU down. What of the person you are holding the grudge against? They accept what they have done is wrong, and they move on. So why shouldn't you?

As I sat thinking this to myself, I realized that I will never truly be happy with myself if I don't LET GO. I need to let go of everything I'm not. Everything that I can't change. Everyone who isn't there for me the way I am there for them. If I keep holding in and holding on to the things that bring negativity to myself then I will never truly be happy. 

I have God to thank for helping me realize that change is a beautiful thing or a curse. 

It's your decision to decide which road to take on.